In my last post I started to tell my story and I asked you to reflect on yours, remember?
So what do these early impressions and experiences leave you with?
Whatever and wherever I started to do something I was recognized as a leader:
- I was sent to leadership training as a pioneer despite my discipline problems;
- I was asked to be a class leader in my first year of my teaching career;
- I was asked to manage the other teachers in the second year;
- I found myself leading 20 EU cultural institutions in the European Languages Cocktail Bar – my first project as a project manager at the British Council
- And many more.
But there was a piece of shit in the AC – as we say it in Hungarian. I NEVER WANTED TO BE A LEADER!
And I am a woman.
So when I got to the career choice…already a mother of two lovely twin boys as well, after some months of agony I decided that instead of BECOMING a leader by position I want to be a person SUPPORTING other leaders as a trainer, consultant and coach. Looking back, and being in a leadership position now for the last 4 years, I think this was a GOOD decision I made for the WRONG reasons.
So why was it a GOOD decision? For three main reasons:
- Because I started my leadership journey by learning a lot about leadership and teaching how to do it. This gave me access to a lot of knowledge and experience from other people and widened my network of leaders.
- By the time I got there, I knew my struggles are not there because I am a failure, but because it is hard to lead and to put your own skin out there, but this was already done with a high level of awareness.
- Because I supported leaders as an executive coach I had first hand experience that there is help out there. Let alone the coaching skills, so important for all leaders.
And what were the WRONG reasons – and this is especially written to all the fellow female talents out there:
- Because I did not believe I could do it. Bullshit.
- Because I was afraid that my kids would suffer. Bullshit. I set a good example and they are proud of me.
- Because I was afraid it makes me less attractive as a woman and I would lose my feminine side. Crazy. For whom? So what? I already got the power, I could not hide it. And it is truly liberating to be who you are regardless of the sex you were born with.
All in all, this is my story and I have learnt to appreciate it and build on it. I know this journey brings strengths and blind spots into my leadership. But knowing it, reflecting on it, exploring it makes me more prepared to face challenges.
What is your story? How did you become a leader? What does it teach you about the way you lead? Tell us your story, we are curious at